Blessings!!

Blessings!!
Seventeen blessings that make growing older worth the effort!!...and 2 more blessings since this picture was taken!
Welcome



Wouldn't it be wonderful if your family were the envy of all your neighborhood? Not because your family had the biggest house, the fanciest car or the very best interior decorator.

The reason isn't that you are the parents of the most beautiful children, you have a "to die for spouse" and you command a 6 figure income.

The fact of the matter is, you don't own a fancy house, your car is a CarMax reject, and your interior decorator is the local Goodwill Store.

Is all of that important? No! What is important is that your family is "The Happiest Family on the Block"!

I will be sharing our secrets that worked with our 6 children, 6 sons and daughters-in-laws and 19 grandchildren! I will share secrets and ideas that we did do and wished we hadn't, things we didn't do, but wished we had, AND things we did do and are glad we got something right!! Hindsight is 20/20 you know!

The "happy family" revolves around:

Marriage

Raising children

Faith

Schooling

Discipline

Childbirth

Hobbies- cooking, sewing, crafts, decorating

Making money

Finances

Being friends with your grown up children

Being the best grandparents you can be

Etc, etc, etc

Grab a cup of coffee, sit down, relax and let's visit!

My Darling Grandaughter

My Darling Grandaughter

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

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Go to: http://www.rxcut.com/ and start saving!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Television

I am starting this post by quoting a poem that most of us know, if not by heart then at most we've probably read it.
Children and Television

(Poem taken from Roald Dahl's book, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory)

"The most important thing we've learned,

So far as children are concerned,

Is never, NEVER, NEVER let

Them near your television set-

Or better still, just don't install

The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,

And stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Until they're hypnotized by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk

With all that shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,

They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink-

But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what

This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!

IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

A FANTASY, A FAIRY LAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HE CANNOT THINK-HE ONLY SEES!

'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right' you'll say,

'But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to enertain

Our darling children? Please explain!'

We'll answer this by asking you,

'What used the darling ones to do?

'How used they keep themselves contented

Before this monster was invented?

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?

We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY. . . USED . . . TO . . . READ! They'd

READ and READ,

AND READ and READ, and then proceed

TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,

More books were waiting to be read!

Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales

Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales

And treasure isles, and distant shores

Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,

And pirates wearing purple pants,

And sailing ships and elephants,

And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,

Stirring away at something hot.

(It smells so good, what can it be?

Good gracious, its Penelope.)

The younger ones had Beatrix Potter

With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,

And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,

And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-

Just How the Camel Got His Hump,

And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,

And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,

There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-

Oh books, what books they used to know,

Those children living long ago!

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,

Go throw your TV set away,

And in its place you can install

A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

Then fill the shelves with lots of books,

Ignoring all the dirty looks,

The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,

And children hitting you with sticks-

Fear not, because we promise you

That, in about a week or two

Of having nothing else to do,

They'll now begin to feel the need

Of having something good to read.

And once they start-oh boy, oh boy!

You watch the slowly growing joy

That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen

They'll wonder what they'd ever seen

In that ridiculous machine,

That nauseating, foul, unclean,

Repulsive television screen!

And later, each and every kid

Will love you more for what you did.

Need I say more?? Television is doing more harm to our children than most of us realize. This poem makes it seem funny, but there is scientific evidence that TV actually does affect the brains of children. There is scienitfic evidence that TV contributes to ADD, learning disabilities, reading problems, etc.
Children who spend long hours in front of the television lose the ability to use their imagination, to be creative and think for themselves. They don't know how to entertain themselves and their God given curiosity is stifled.

Turn off the television!!  Turn off the video games!! Send them outside use their imagination and create imaginary people, places and things. Let them build sandcastles, forts in the woods and use pinecones and acorns for imaginary food. Give them books to read, crayons and paper to draw on. Let them use modeling clay to mold wild and crazy things that could only come from fertile imaginations.
Our home never had a TV. Our children learned from a very young age to entertain themselves. Even today, when they are all together they sometimes talk about the fun things they did growing up, using their imaginations...... and they read, read, read! Oh my, when we went to the library we almost needed a trailer to bring all the books back home. I had to pry them away from books to do their chores, homework and even to sleep!
Even if you can't bring yourselves to get rid of the television, at least limit it drastically. Children should not look at TV more than one hour every day, max. Less would be better!
 I promise you,  you will reap the rewards!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Parent or Friend

Do you want to be a parent or a friend to your young children? Why, you say, can't I be both? Let's talk about this for a few minutes.
In the society, there is a lot of emphasis put on being friends with your children and little on being "THE PARENT". THE PARENT is the authoritarian, the boss, the disciplinarian, the "big cheese". Would you want a friend to be like that?
John Rosemond, in his book,"Making the "Terrible" Twos Terrific", says that a good parent is a "mean parent".
His definition of "mean" is a parent who is assertive, consistant, calm and insistant. They don't scream, yell, bully and are not abusive. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
Effective parenting is setting boundaries that children know they are not to cross. Effective parents will not allow misbehavior nor do they allow 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances. They never reason with a child and there is no counting to ten or any other form of conjoling. The parent will expect obedience the first time they tell their child what they want them to do.

Parents who are effective do not change from day to day. What they did yesterday or last week will be the same today and next week. Because of this, childen learn to trust their parents and find great security in them. Most children will not like what their parents tell them, but they will respect them for what they say.

One of the greatest problems in our public school systems is the breakdown of control and discipline. Teachers and principals are afraid of children and their parents, and for good reason. When I was in school, I knew that I had better not misbehave in class. If I did, and my parents found out, (and they would), I would not only get punished in school, but I would also get punished when I got home! That was great motivation to behave myself! Today, unfortunately, parents have the misconception that they have to stick up for their children, run interference and offer excuses. An effective parent will make their children shoulder the responsibility for their actions and the consequences that follow. If a child misbehaves, the parent allows them to take the punishment they deserve and therefore learn from their mistakes. The parent will also reinforce what the consequences will be if the misbehavior is repeated.
Can you be a "friend" through this process? No, you are the authority figure in your child's life right now. Friendship comes later. Teaching your children to trust, respect and obey you as an authority figure in their lives will create a foundation for a lasting friendship in their adult years.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism.
    They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
    They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
     They learn to be timid.
If children live with shame,
    They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with understanding,
    They learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement,
    They learn confidence.
If children live with praise,
    They learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness,
    They learn justice.
If children live with security,
    They learn to have faith.
If hildren live with approval,
    They learn to like themselves.
If children live with acceptance and friendship,
    They learn to find love.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Second Chances

If you all think that I was a perfect mom who never got upset, mad or frustrated, THINK AGAIN. Many times I was all of those!. The ideas I am sharing are things I did that worked, but unfortunately I didn't do them all the time. If I had, it would have saved me a lot of frustration.


The hardest thing to do, as a mother with young children, is to follow through with the discipline you are trying to do. You think, at the time, that it is easier to give a second chance. You are busy with other things and let it slide but in doing that you are defeating the purpose of the discipline. Anytime you give a second chance you are telling your child that he doesn't have to obey the first time because mom or dad will always give a second chance. Then the second chance becomes a third, fourth or fifth chance and you have become extremely frustrated and maybe even angry.


It does not take long to make a child understand that when you tell him/her something, your expectations are that he/she will follow your orders right then, no questions asked. You don't say, "Sally, will you please pick up your toys for Mommy?" That is putting your child on an equal level with you. You are giving Sally an option to accomodate you if she so desires.  You instead say,"Sally, I want you to pick up all of your toys immediately." You are the boss! She is not helping you, she is obeying you. If the orders are not followed immediately, you calmly inact a punishment that will leave an impression upon the child.


 A time out for a young child, 2 or older,  is effective if you make it severe enough. Five minutes will NOT work. Find a chair, turn it so that it faces the corner, and sit the child in it, telling him that he must sit there for one hour, two hours, three hours because he did not obey you. Choose whatever time you think it will take to make an impression. He/ she cannot talk, cannot look around and cannot do anything for that time period. That may seem too harsh for you, but the punishment must leave an impression upon the child, in order for him/her not to repeat it. You may have to stay right there with them for the time to make it work the first few times. If the child cries and misbehaves then you extend the time. A kitchen timer is very helpful, as young children do not have any concept of what an hour is. You tell them that if they sit there quietly until the bell rings, they can then get up. When the bell rings, sit them on your lap, reaffirm your love for them, tell them again why you made them sit in the corner and firmly tell them that everytime they disobey they will have to sit on the chair facing the corner for one hour or longer. Then, FOLLOW THROUGH! If this is done consistantly, and they truely do not have anything to do for that hour, they will soon decide that it is much more beneficial for them to obey.
If your child is having a temper tantrum, don't try to placate them or bribe them into behaving. Calmly pick them up and take them to their room. Put them in their bed or crib and tell them that they are to stay there until they can be quiet.They are not to get out of their bed until you say they can. When they are quiet you will come get them. Then go out and shut the door. When you do come to get them, again, reaffirm your love for them, and tell them that each time they have a temper tantrum, they will have to go to bed until they can behave.
You might say," That might work at home, but what about when I am out with the children?" I promise you, if you do this consistantly at home, the benefits will carry over when you ar out in public. Studies have shown that a three year old can retain things for 8 hours. If your three years old misbehaves in public and you tell him that he is going to have a time out in his room when he gets home, HE WILL REMEMBER. Then, when he returns home, you remind him of how he misbehaved and what his punishment is and then you follow through.
Enough for now... I welcome your thoughts!

Monday, April 19, 2010

"I said said so, THAT'S WHY!!!"

When our children were young we did not have any extra money floating around. With 6 children it seemed that there was always "too much month left over at the end of our money". To help ease things financially, I babysat other children during the day, some after school and some all day. Very often my house resembled a zoo at any given moment. Somehow we survived!!

An interesting thing happened on more than one occasion... A mom or dad would come to pick up their child at the close of the work day. I had watched this child from 7:30 to 6:00 and had very little problems. He/she would play, interact with others, and generally be a well behaved little person. When the parent walked in the door, the child turned, in an instance, into a holy terror, screaming, kicking and demanding the parent's attention. What happened??? 
This child knew what methods worked with their parents.
The parent would ask," What do you do to make your children so well behaved?" I would share with them some of our secrets but they would not want to use the principles we used, even though those very principles brought about happy, respectful, well adjusted children.

Numerous times while eating out with our family at a restaurant, when they were all under the age of 13, other diners would approach our table, usually remarking on the size of our family. In the course of the conversation,  they would compliment us on how well behaved our little ones were. My husband and I would look at each other rather blankly...."this is normal".

Honestly, I am not telling this to brag, but just to try to make a point.... loving, effective discipline works, consistent child training works, but it is hard work! It was hard work and God's help that made it happen.
So what did we do??....
The number one priority was obedience. We expected to be obeyed no matter what. At a very early age, we started training our children to obey. When they were crawling around, pulling up to things, reaching for things, we worked on abedience. If they reached for something that was "off limits", they were firmly told "NO" and taken away from the temptation. If we were at a Bible study, they were taught to be quiet. They soon learned that "no" means "NO". As they grew older, "no" still meant "no" and it was because "I said so!"
No arguing, no questions. If we were not obeyed, the children knew there would be consequences.

I am going to go into depth about some of this in later chapters, but I want to say one thing right now... Our children today are not warped, stifled, backward, socially inept misfits, but rather are happy, well adjusted, interesting, productive men and women. Heaven forbid, they were disciplined!
Whew! My knees are stiff from standing on my soapbox so long. I will climb down and head for bed..Come again tomorrow and we will get into some specifics.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The "Honeymoon" is over

Even if you don't recognize it, the last 10-12 months since your precious little one came into this world were truely the "honeymoon months". Yeah, there were sleepless night, colic, teething, etc, but between those times you could just love, cuddle and enjoy. Each day brought something new as baby learned and tried new things.
Now, you have an 18 month old who is still trying new things, including your patience! Why is little Jack or Sally suddenly throwing temper tantrums when you tell them "No"? Why are they not wanting to go to bed, eat, play with their toys and numerous other things? Why are they testing the limits on everything? You are pulling your hair out and what you don't pull, baby does! Welcome to the world of parenting 101!

Parenting does not have to be a frustrating venture and somthing to dread. Yes, it is a challenge, but it is up to you as a parent to face it with confidence and assurance that you can do it and do it successfully.

I'll be back.... 

Monday, April 12, 2010

Can there be anything more wonderful than time with your family! We just returned from 5 days in the Smoky Mountains with all of our children, their spouses and our grandchildren.


It was truly awesome! We are all so different and yet so much the same. It is our uniqueness that adds the spice, the fun, and the laughter to being together.

Right now, I am doing my taxes. I will be back when those are done!! Wish me well......

Friday, April 9, 2010

Hello from the Great Smokey's

Hi Everybody!
 I am sorry I haven't written in the last few days! I am having a wonderful time with all of my family (minus 1 son-in-law who had to work). There are 26 of us in a beautiful 7 bedroom log home perched high on the side of a mountain, with a gorgeous view of a taller range of mountains. It snowed last night up on the top of the mountains. On the lower sides, there is just the faintest hint of green beginning to show.
I have with me, my husband of 39 years, 2 sons, 4 daughters, 3 sons-in-law, 2 daughters-in-law, 7 grandsons and 6 grandaughters. Nine of the children are under 5 years old!!! It is a busy, noisy, funny, happy time!! I will write more when I get the time.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Everyone who reads this may be wondering what "baby blues", colic, tired parents and messy houses has to do with happy homes. It is all part of the framework in building "The Happiest Family on the Block." If you and your spouse become overwhelmed, frustrated, upset and resentful because your lives suddenly seem out of control, it could lead to lasting problems in your marriage and home. Now is the time to practice communication, unselfishness, being affectionate and working together toward a common goal. Each is a stepping stone to a great relationship that will bring incredible rewards later on.


It would be so easy for me, as a mother, gramma, and doula to branch off  into other aspects of infant care, but I want to stay on track with having a happy home. We will explore more baby care in later visits.
Right now....


Modern psychology has has an incredible impact on child training in the last few decades, much of it very flawed. In the past 50 years, we as a society have seen growing problems with young children, adolescents, teenagers and young adults. There has been an incredible rise in violence, depression, self mutilation, eating disorders, suicide and a general lack of respect for authority. Why? If these "new and better" ways of parenting are so great why are we and our chlidren on such a slippery slope to self-destruction? I am going to spend quite a bit of time on this, because I do know what works and I want to share this with you. Let's get together real soon!


 In the meantime, let me know what you want to talk about. E-mail me @louisacottage@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Habits

Gosh, I am tired! I have been with my daughter and her girls today.. having a great time being Gramma!
 I just have a little thought for today...
We are all creatures of habit. We get up at a certain time, shower, brush our teeth, eat , some of us go to work or clean house. The same things day in and day out. We kiss our husband or wife hello and goodbye, "Luv ya!", all of this is more or less habit.
Today, try something different. Thinks of something very special you know your spouse would like to have, or do. Now, go make it happen. Get into it and make it a special, happy time to show your spouse how much you love and appreciate him or her. You and your marriage will reap the benefit of your little moment of thoughtfulness.
Now, I am to bed!!!

1 Precious Daughter, 2 precious Grandaughters

1 Precious Daughter, 2 precious Grandaughters
I am blessed!