This is going to take more than a day to cover, so I am going to divide it into parts.
Respect is something that so many children don't even begin to comprehend. Why is that, you might ask? Well, one big reason is that the children of the last few generations have been and are being raised in an "all about me" society. Parents give, give, give and let their whole life revolve around their children. Children are being programmed to think that they are the most important creatures on earth and everything should rotate on its axis around them. If they say jump , their parents ask,"How high?" How can they respect another person, when it all revolves around them?
Even when children are very young they need to be taught that they are to respect other people, their possessions, their feelings, their thoughts and their time. They need to understand that they are the children and you are the adult and others, are or will be the authority in their lives. You and the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, the babysitter, the teachers, the minister, the policeman, etc...They are all people that your children need to learn to respect and be respectful to, because they are also an authority figure in their lives. How, you say do I teach them this?
Children can begin, even at a very young age, to learn to respect their parents and the fact that they are to always pay attention to their parents, but it will not alway be reciprical. You will not always give them the attention they want. By instilling this into your child, at a very young age, you are teaching them that your time is going to be shared by them, with others.
When "Johnny" pulls on your skirt and demands your attention, you say," No, Johnny, I am busy right now and I cannot pick you up."
Or, You are feeding your new baby and Johnny wants to go outside.. you say," I cannot take you outside, you will have to wait." You are teaching him to share his time with others and that will in turn teach him to respect others.
As soon as a child learns to talk, it is important to teach him or her to speak in a respectful manner. They should be taught to say, "Yes,ma'am", "No, sir", or at least say clearly and politely, "Yes" or "No". When they are speaking to adults especially, don't let them get into the habit of saying, Yeah, or some other noise that indicates yes or no. They should look people in the eye when they are talking to them, not at the ceiling or the floor. When an adult speaks to them, they should acknowledge that adult and respond to them.
I cannot emphasize enough that children have to learn that there will always be an authority figure over them in some capacity. If an adult tells them to do something, or NOT do something, again, they should be taught to respond in an appropriate manner and to do it respectfully. (I am not talking about strangers)
Children can be taught at a young age not to interrupt. I have seen children run to their daddy and tugging on their daddy's pants, say," 'cuse me, Daddy, 'cuse me, Daddy, 'cuse me, Daddy....", all the while, Daddy is trying to carry on a conversation. I am sorry, that is not being taught to be polite or respectful. That is disrespect clothed in a form of politeness. The parent should not feel that they have to end a conversation just because Johnny wants to be pushed on a swing. A child should be taught to come to their dad or mom, touch them on the hand or leg in order for the parent to know they are there, and then wait quietly until the parent can talk to them. Now obviously, if little sister was just flushed down the toilet, then there is a place for interruption.
More on respect later.... If you have any questions, please let me know.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
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I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the idea behind your blog and posts like these. Will you please write a guest post (or two or three) for me on my first blog listed? It can even be a re-post of one of your blog posts. this would be perfect for my June segment. And I love the title of the blog, just like my favorite parenting book author, Sears.
I'm following you now and came from Welcome Wednesday. Visit my blogs if you can.
villageofmoms.blogspot.com
thekitefamily.blogspot.com
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